My Muppet Show (or, A Fantasy Reboot)

Dear whoever (or should I say whatever? In case you're Gonzo. Or a gonzo journalist),

Obviously, you're rebooting the Muppet Show. How could you not? A vaudevellian-variety-talk-something show full of "frogs and dogs and bears and... whatever" is ripe property for rebooting, even if a movie was only made last year. So, in some sort of order, I have a list of demands for you:

1. You have a Muppet News vox populi section. You get a puppet out onto the streets of a city, asking real people what they think of some sort of Muppet news (e.g. Miss Piggy's sister being hired for famed reality TV show, Bacon Idol).
2. Mount Rushmore as a barbershop quartet. Need I say more?
3. An MCU (that's Muppet Cinematic Universe, for your information). Beaker/Animal as Bruce Banner/the Hulk, Sam the Eagle as Captain America, Miss Piggy as Black Widow... it could go on for over ten sketches!
4. Have a couch-gag thing with Gonzo blowing his trumpet. Apart from that, Gonzo-keep doing what you're doing.
5. Statler and Waldolf as a gay couple. Join the national conversation for once, Muppet Show!
6. All I have written on number six is "dierection??". I think this means you should have One Direction as a guest. It would add a whole new dimension to your image.
7. The Grand Budapest Motel? Like, a Muppet hotel. It's a new word.
8. Gangnam Style should be the new theme tune. Rights should be cheap.
9. More feet!

Thank you,

A Secret Admirer :)